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InAmerican reality TV star Austin Armacost posted a topless picture on Twitter and quickly became a laughing stock. Don't like it, unfollow FuckTheHaters Happy. The text of the caption became a memecopied-and-pasted onto ever more absurd images; a toasted marshmallow, Winnie the Pooh, a dog wearing clothes.

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First, we needed two red-blooded all-American straight guys. We headed to Griffith Park one Sunday and noticed a rugged touch-football game in progress. One particularly virile specimen appealed to us.

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For starters, you must be infatuated with Robyn. And perhaps the biggest gay guideline that reigns supreme, the one the culture seems to agree on, the most important one of all: You must, must, must, MUST have a perfect six-pack. If your six-pack is anything other than perfect in every way, shape, and form, you might as well start wearing baggy T-shirts and move into a cave. Abs: good and godly.

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These are external links and will open in a new window. A man who "wasted years" trying to sculpt his body has become an Instagram influencer on body positivity. But after seeing his clothes size tumble from XXL to extra small, family and friends said he had "gone too far".

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We see them everywhere: they look gorgeous as they stroll down Oxford St, mince down Chapel and sparkle in the valley, looking like superheroes ripped straight from the pages of a comic book. They rule pool parties, they lift much more than we do — they are ordinary gay men attempting to mirror the bodies of Greek gods. We tell ourselves those bodies cannot be natural. We are mildly envious as we grub our bellies and realise that we are meaty in obviously different ways.

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